Question

Does it take more courage to live your dreams, or to let them die?

Imprisonment

My raw fingers claw at the cold iron bars. They are bloody, but past all sensation of pain. For the despair in my heart never ceases to struggle, to fight for a way out of hiding. Though if despair is freed then all is lost, for despair is what has caged me here.

Night

I sat at the crossroad, writing by the light of the waxing full moon. The night was peaceful. I heard the crickets in the grass singing their song. The coyotes joined in with their own rhythm-less melody from somewhere in the distance beyond the trees and hills.

The wind whispered through the trees playing the gentle percussion for the Song of the Night.

The night air wafted on by the delicate breeze brought with it the sweet scent of the night time forest, the rich earthen smell of dead wood and leaves, and the last faintest trace of the flowers from the day; their scent of now forgotten beauty barely lingering on the breath of the night.

The pale moon on my skin glowed with a chill light that filtered down to the warm blood coursing through my veins, chilling it, making me one with the night.

Chains

At one point I fancied my heart wrapped in chains and protected by the logical workings of my mind. I have seen others ruined by a free heart that took them away from their previous designed course, and promised myself that such an affliction would not also be my downfall.

Many times I have thought theses chains to have tightened and their strength to have held my heart back from folly, but I discover now that the chains are not strong. My heart was then weak and already resigned to failure. It only longed for something that it knew it could not have, so it did not fight; it only pressed against the chains in protest.

Why must I be so contradictory as to want my chains to hold back my dreams? I had hoped that by finding distractions to divert my dreams I could avoid that ache and strain of having to bind them. My diversions have only caused more damage. They have given my heart a taste of what it wants, and now it is not content to remain there.

I fear that this gives it strength, and I fear what wild flights it will take when those feeble chains break.

Moments

Life is made of little moments in time stitched together by the emotions in them. Sometimes I remember the little bits that seem vastly devoid of emotion. Emptiness can be a blessing when my life is too full of the things that will not matter soon.

Fullness of dreams and hopes that can never be brought to fruition are such a burden to a practical soul such as mine. Half of me craves for simple practicality; the other for wild adventurous quests into the unknown, full of danger, courage and honor. Maybe I read too many fantasy books. There has to be some middle ground! Can someone so divided ever be at peace?

Yet, sometimes I do find peace in the moments that I spend in music, books and nature. God’s creation is particularly easy to find peace in. Seeing the beauty and how it all fits together so well brings the calm knowledge that at least someone knows what is happening and why.

Stength

Strength of the mind, heart, body and spirit is to be searched for with ferocity.

I am a weak person, but I do greatly desire to be strong.

I desire the strength of mind to seek knowledge and use wisdom.

I desire the strength of heart to know my feelings and to set them in their proper course.

I desire the strength of body to have endurance through surrounding adversities and the will to continue on past my limits.

I desire the strength of spirit to bring all of these together and use every ounce of my being to pursue my True Purpose.

Dreams

Sometimes dreams are not found until they are no longer being searched for, after hope has been lost. It is easy to over look them at that point, but they can still be there.

Once a dream has been found it is not the end. There is still much work to be done, for that was only the beginning. Nothing happens by itself, dropped out of the darkness. Labor makes the accomplishment what it is.